I have been intending to post for the last few days but my heart has been focused else where. Last week my eldest daughter received a diagnosis of MS. The most difficult part has been the progressive nature of her disease and that she went from fully able bodied one month ago to totally dependent on help today. She can not walk without a cane and not for long at that. While she has already received a very expensive steroid treatment, improvement is slow. We moved her back home for safe keeping (to get to her apartment is a long climb upstairs).
Yesterday, sitting outside on the lawn, sunning ourselves - my daughter said to me "I can be a victim and have a pitty party or I can have some power and create a better life." Wow. I was really taken back by her positive attitude. She laughs a lot at her body that does not want to obey anymore. A visitor said to her, "Why do you laugh so?" She replied, "It is really insane I can't move my own leg! I can cry or laugh. I choose to laugh." So wise a young woman she is. She has been a positive soul since birth. I remember she was that baby that slept, ate, and laughed. Not much crying. Amazing how much of the personality is displayed in those first few months.
My family has begun a new journey. It is one day at a time. We have altered our diet completely under this new assault - taking up an anti-inflammatory diet plus no gluten, none of those yummy white powders (salt, sugar, flour). I love cooking and making delicious food is a balance of factors. Fresh herbs is key. I planted my herb garden today - one of the best secrets to luscious fresh food.
I am reminded as I look at the way life has changed in the matter of just days - that teaching is so much a one day at a time phenomena. I have no control over what life will bring my children. I have no control over what happens to the children I teach when they leave my classroom. But I can take the moments I do have and bring as much life and vitality as I can.
I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a little blue about this new situation. But inside the blue, is a vast open space for a new level of life and radiance. Like blue skies, the sun shines there. It begins with what is so. And so it is. . .